Describe what kind of music you do. In one word. One word not ending in 'core'.
JQ- Not ending in 'core'? Ironically I've just updated the Wikipedia page that somebody did for us, and I think 'ending in core' makes sense this time because it's an original term. 'Pattercore'. I think that's a wee bit more acceptable. We'll be the one and only 'Pattercore' band.
If you cut a worm in half you get two dead worms. What would happen if I cut you in half?
JQ- There'd be less of me. Less of me, but twice. There's a lot of my belly, so I wouldn't mind being cut in half. Vertically. I'd be slimmer.
JD- My guts would spill all over the floor. It'd form the shape of a German Shepherd. With two heads. And three legs.
Why is the new album better than the other two?
JD- When I started writing for the new album the songs were still in the same vein as the first two. We decided to all contribute, and re-write what material we had. We've got a record now that combines all our personalities.
JQ- We took a lot more time to write it. There's a lot more ideas in it. With each album we've done we've changed our sound, but there's a very drastic change here. There's no more screaming. I want to sing in my own accent, which I did previously, although you couldn't tell because I was screaming so horrendously. This one is a lot more intelligent, but still frantic. This one I can listen to over and over, and I think the first two very much represented our age at the time- I just liked to run around and piss people off and scream in their faces. It's a lot more mature and coherent. We were too metal for the indie fans and too indie for the metal fans so we wanted to change that.
Are there any cover versions on it? Why do cover versions? Can you not write enough songs?
JD- None. We only liked doing covers because it felt great to destroy somebody's heart and soul, with our concoction of misery.
JQ- I've no idea why we did that cover, although a lot of people seemed really into it. It helped the album get to a bigger audience, but with this album we had so much stuff that there was no room for a cover.
Has this album got songs with verses and choruses?
JQ- This album very much does. That's one thing that we wanted to incorporate. There was verse/chorus on the second album (The Monroe Transfer), but to the outsider it just sounded like a whole bunch of parts.There was repeats, but no-one could really get their head round it or identify them. This album is a lot more song-based and a lot of that was premeditated before we went to record.
You're all in other bands. Do you get more pussy playing in an indie band?
JD- We're all celibate hardcore Christians.
JQ- No. I actiually get more tang playing in Take A Worm. I think a lot of that comes down to, err... the nature of the audience. But I don't think being in a band gets a person tang. It comes down to the patter, and what he's willing to do to the opposite sex. Or same sex.
Who's the most talented?
JD- Me. They say I've got the fastest fingers since Captain Birdseye lost his boat.
JQ- All of us. Everybody's talented in different ways. I think for the instruments, each one is the best at their instrument that you could wish for. There's no one that could be replaced. Although Johnny's the most gay. And he's the most covered in chicken.
What's been your best experience since the band began?
JQ- Being able to get away with writing music that people enjoy. It wouldn't come down to doing shows or anything like that, but the big thing for me would be doing the Maida Vale session in London for the BBC. That studio's got such a history. Joy Division recorded there. That's pretty much it for me. Although I was really hungover and couldn't stop farting so it kind of balances out.
JD- Maida Vale was fun, but I'd probably say getting a really herb-y kebab in Newcastle once.
Have you ever had a near-death experience?
JD- I ODed on ketamine in a hotel room in Sheffield on the Twilight Sad support tour. That was really nice...
What kind of music were you exposed to as kids?
JQ- When I was wee my mum was really into stuff like Wham and Tears for Fears. In the last four years I've kind of went back to Tears for Fears. Before it became popular. I realise they're becoming quite popular again. When I got a bit older I got really into The Cure.
JD- When I was growing up I was subjected to Chris Rea, Simple Minds, Eurythmics... great artists like that. Then I got into grindcore and sludge bands, like Hard to Swallow, Iron Monkey, Logical Nonsense, Unsane... all that stuff.
What are you listening to now?
JQ- Right now? I'm pretty much exclusively listening to drone, of the ambient nature. Things like Xela, anything on Type Records, 12k Records, Digitalis Ltd kind of stuff... Pretty much a bunch of bands that nobody's heard of. I'm into really pretentious stuff. The most straighforward answer would probably be Katy Perry's 'Firework'.
Would you do a show with Lady Gaga?
JD- YES! I'd give her fellatio.
JQ- Of course. Yes. Hands down. Straight away.
If you had a screensaver for your brain, what would it look like?
JD- A bottle of booze.
Does your van stink?
JQ- It stinks all the time. It stinks of piss, shit, cum, rape, shit, burritos, alcohol... did I mention cum?
JD- It smells of Iain's cancerous asshole. It smells of piss, pies and booze.
What's the stupidest thing you've been compared to?
JQ- Grindcore, as a genre, as a whole. 'Technical thrash'. All that sort of bullshit. Bands that we've never heard of, never listen to and would never want to listen to. We were coming from the spazzy edge of things, and it just seemed to go over everyone's heads. Although that was purely in Britain. Anybody in Britain that hears something really fast and quick, they automatically call it 'grind'. Fuck that shit.
I once read a review of one of your live shows and it said that you 'emit a disquietude'. What do you think of that?
JQ- That we stink? We do. We make no bones about it. We get up people's noses both with our music and our odour.
What's your favourite record of the 21st Century?
JD- I can honestly say that 'Happiness' by Hurts is my favourite record of the 21st Century.
What are the best and worst bands you've played with?
JQ- Worst were Ministry. Although itt was a great show to play, playing to 2,000 people and pissing them all off. The best tour we've done was with The Twilight Sad, because that's more our kind of crowd. Other worst ones would be... just any smelly, short-wearing shit grindcore band that we had to play with every time in London.
What are the plans for the year, once the album's out?
JQ- With being in other busy bands, we'll have to take our time with it this time. Once it's out we'll tour sporadically, but we're all full-time musicians so we have to go with our other bands a lot. But we're definitely going to play as many shows as possible.
Listen to TAWFAWW here.